"On the Analyst's Couch" - 5/6

Here is the fifth chapter of "On the Analyst's Couch":


ON THE ANALYST COUCH - Part 5

Paige never pays Dr. Linnbakker another visit. Piper's visits to the analyst, continues. Phoebe wants to divorce Cole Turner, but is unable to contact him. Her frustrations lead Piper to suggest a visit to Dr. Linnbakker's office.

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CASE #71247 - PHOEBE HALLIWELL (AUGUST 14, 2002):


(Phoebe sits back against the maroon chaise, glancing at the painting on the wall, opposite her. Dr. Linnbakker stares at her.)

DR. LINNBAKKER: So, I understand that you're trying to get a divorce.

PHOEBE: (Glances at the doctor) Huh? Oh. Yeah.

LINNBAKKER: (Nods) On what grounds?

PHOEBE: Uh . . . on the grounds of desertion.

LINNBAKKER: Really? How ironic. Especially since that's not what really happened. But I guess you can't tell the judge that Cole is gone, because you and your sisters vanquished him.

PHOEBE: (Takes a deep breath) No, I can't. And since there wasn't a body . . .

LINNBAKKER: I understand. But why a divorce? Why break with Cole for good? Didn't you find out that he wasn't completely dead, during the incident with Agent Jackman?

PHOEBE: (Laughs nervously) I see that you've been reading the file on me. Piper and Paige told me about your files.

LINNBAKKER: And you haven't answered my question. Why are you getting a divorce, if there is a chance of Cole coming back?

PHOEBE: (Blinks) Because it can't work between us. I mean, the past two years have proven that. Marriage between a witch and a demon? (Shakes her head) Can't work.

LINNBAKKER: Many have said the same about marriage between a witch and a whitelighter. As far as Piper and Leo are concerned, the book hasn't closed on them, yet.

PHOEBE: Yeah? (Anger creeps into her voice) At least Leo isn't a demon or the Source of All Evil. (Calms down) He's a whitelighter. He's good. You can't . . . one can't form a relationship between good and evil.

LINNBAKKER: Nonsense. Good and evil have existed side-by-side for centuries. People - including the supernatural - have to live with good and evil within them for all of their lives. Even whitelighters have been known to turn evil. (Pauses) And witches.

PHOEBE: Yeah. I know.

LINNBAKKER: Then why do you have to get a divorce?

PHOEBE: (Sighs and rolls her eyes) I can't deal with it, anymore. Having a relationship with Cole . . . it won't work. We've been trying for almost two years to make it work. It just . . . (Voice trembles) After all that has happened during the last three months we were together, I can't handle it, anymore.

LINNBAKKER: Why don't you tell me about it?

PHOEBE: Isn't it all in my file?

LINNBAKKER: Yes. The Founders provided me with the information I needed. And the Source's Realm.

PHOEBE: (Eyes grow wide) The Under . . . Why would you get files from the . . .?

LINNBAKKER: From the Source's Realm? Because I needed information on what happened, while you were the Source's queen.

PHOEBE: You're in contact with demons?

LINNBAKKER: Of course! (Stares at Phoebe) Didn't your sisters tell you? Some of my patients have been daemons and warlocks.

PHOEBE: Why on earth would demons and warlocks need an analyst?

LINNBAKKER: Are you kidding? Considering some of the crap they deal with, believe me, they need one. Being evil isn't as simple as one thinks. You ought to know from past experience. It takes quite a toll on a person. Of course, many daemons and most warlocks tend to disregard these little side effects from their actions. They get so caught up in achieving power and wrecking havoc that they shove or suppress the consequences out of their minds.

PHOEBE: Has . . . um, has Cole ever been . . . a patient?

LINNBAKKER: (Nods) Two years ago. Around the time you two first started dating. And when he was dodging bounty hunters right after he had destroyed the Triad.

PHOEBE: Oh.

LINNBAKKER: So, are you going to talk about your impending divorce? And the whole mess regarding Cole, the Seer and the Source? (Pauses) And your baby?

PHOEBE: (Angrily) Listen, I don't want to talk about this! I'm not ready.

LINNBAKKER: (Sighs) Hmmmm. I forgot that you do that a lot.

PHOEBE: Do what?

LINNBAKKER: Run away from your problems. It's a family trait, I suspect.

PHOEBE: (Angry again) I'm not running away!

LINNBAKKER: Oh? Then what are you doing, Phoebe? Why are you here in the first place? If you don't want to talk about your problems, why are you here?

PHOEBE: (Mutters) Now you're beginning to sound like Prue.

LINNBAKKER: Does that bother you? You almost sound resentful.

PHOEBE: I've never resented Prue. (Pauses) She was my sister. We were very close. My God! She was almost like a mother to Piper and me.

LINNBAKKER: And you've never resented that? (Shrugs) Hell, I would if I had a sister or brother only five years older, who tried to boss me around.

PHOEBE: Look, didn't you hear what I . . . ? (Squirms under Dr. Linnbakker's stare) What? Okay, maybe I did resent her a little.

LINNBAKKER: Only a little?

PHOEBE: Prue could be bossy. A little. (Pauses) And a little . . . judgmental. But maybe I deserved it. Considering the number of times I've screwed up my life.

LINNBAKKER: Phoebe, you're not the only person who has ever made mistakes. We all have at one time or another. Including Prue. In fact, she has made some pretty bad mistakes in her life.

PHOEBE: Not like me.

LINNBAKKER: Why do you do that? Underestimate yourself, all the time? It seems as if you have some kind of inferiority complex.

PHOEBE: Under . . . What do you mean that I underestimate myself? I don't!

LINNBAKKER: Okay. Then how would you judge yourself as a person? Or a witch?

PHOEBE: I'm a good person. At least I try to be. (Pauses) But I'm not always . . . successful.

LINNBAKKER: Meaning?

PHOEBE: Okay, I'm not that responsible. In fact, I'm irresponsible. I mean, here I am, one of the Charmed Ones and I fall in love with a half-demon. I mean, how responsible is that?

LINNBAKKER: No one can't help with whom they fall in love. Falling in love isn't about responsibility. It's a state of emotion. Finding that soulmate, so to speak.

PHOEBE: Maybe. But once I found out that Cole was a demon, not only did I not vanquish him, I lied about it. And when Prue and Piper learned the truth, I continued the relationship, despite my promise to Prue. And you know what? She was right about him.

LINNBAKKER: Are you speaking of the same Prue Halliwell who became attracted to the likes of Brendan Rowe, who came pretty close to killing her? Or the same sister who fell for a mortal that turned out to be a hit man for daemons? The same Prue who once dragged you and Piper to some demonic academy in order to prevent an old high school chum from becoming a daemon . . . willingly? Or the same Prue who failed to see the danger of Leo's plan to marry Piper behind the Founders' backs? That Prue?

PHOEBE: Okay, so Prue wasn't perfect. At least she was right about Cole. (Voice shakes) He's evil. He can't . . . He couldn't overcome . . . (Sighs and brushes away a few tears)

LINNBAKKER: I don't mean to sound harsh, but you know as well as I do that Cole has not willingly embrace evil since he failed to kill you during that business with Andreas. Everything else - that young witch and Raynor, the Seer, and the Source - had all been committed against his will.

PHOEBE: (Mumbles) I know.

LINNBAKKER: Do you? I wonder. Your actions say otherwise. I wonder how Cole will react to you filing for divorce.

PHOEBE: (Angrily) I don't care how he will feel! He's stuck in the Wasteland, anyway. Maybe he'll burn in hell. I hope so!

LINNBAKKER: Phoebe . . .

PHOEBE: (Continues angrily) Look, it doesn't matter how Cole feels. All I know is I can't be with him, anymore. If I so much as think about him, all I do is think of what I went through. Besides, what if Paige was right about him? What if Cole saw the Hollow as an opportunity to become demonic, again? But whether that's true or not, I don't want anything to do with him, anymore. I've suffered enough, already. I mean . . . My God! I chose evil! I chose him over my sisters!

LINNBAKKER: You are aware that you weren't acting on free will, at the time. Right?

PHOEBE: Hel-lo? Of course I was! Look, I may not like it, but I have accepted the fact that I chose evil . . .

LINNBAKKER: (Flips through Phoebe's file) Sorry honey, you didn't. Remember that box of chocolates Cole gave you, right after your wedding?

PHOEBE: (Frowns) Yeah?

LINNBAKKER: It contained a potion made by the Seer that would guarantee you and Cole conceiving an evil child during the Harvest moon. Not only would that child tap into your own inner evil, but would ensure that you willingly choose Cole . . . excuse me, the Source over the Charmed Ones. And it almost worked, except you managed to overcome it and choose good.

PHOEBE: Even so, that potion would not have worked if I wasn't so inclined toward evil. In fact, I'm more inclined than any of my sisters. That's why I have to stay away from Cole.

LINNBAKKER: (Stares at Phoebe with disbelief) What? Where did you get that insane idea that you were more inclined toward evil?

PHOEBE: After I was possessed by the Woogeyman. You do know about the Manor being built upon a nexus, right?

LINNBAKKER: And?

PHOEBE: Well, I'm the only sister who was born in the Manor. This makes me more inclined toward evil than the others.

LINNBAKKER: Who told you that?

PHOEBE: (Hesitant) Well . . . we . . . uh, I came to that conclusion . . . after learning about the manor's history.

LINNBAKKER: (Frowns) I can't believe that you really accepted that piece of claptrap! Did Leo confirmed this?

PHOEBE: (Stares uneasily at the doctor) Uh . . . well, no. I never had the chance to talk about . . . what?

LINNBAKKER: Phoebe, everyone has an equal tendency toward good or evil. I can't believe that you accepted such nonsense! Nor can I believe that your sisters didn't even bother to reject that idea. My God! No wonder you grew up with such a negative disposition! They must not think very highly of you, if they believe that!

PHOEBE: Hey! There's nothing wrong with my sisters! They mean everything to me, you know? Hell, Prue practically sacrificed her life to . . .

LINNBAKKER: (Sarcastically) Yes! I know. To help raise you and Piper. Why Prue saw fit to martyr her childhood in order to act as some kind of psuedo-parent, I'll never know. You already had Penelope. (Pauses) What was wrong with her? She didn't provide the parental guide that you needed?

PHOEBE: What are you talking about? Grams did a great job with us! She was tough when she had to be. And very loving, at the same time.

LINNBAKKER: If Penelope was all this, why on earth did Prue feel she had to help raise you and Piper? Did you ever stop to think that perhaps she was too young to be a second mother?

PHOEBE: (Nervously clears throat) Maybe. Once.

LINNBAKKER: Once? I'm surprised you didn't build up a lifetime of resentment!

PHOEBE: (Shifts uncomfortably on the chaise) Why . . . why should I?

LINNBAKKER: I don't know. You tell me.

PHOEBE: There's nothing to tell. Maybe I did feel a little resentment toward Prue. Once or twice.

LINNBAKKER: Interesting. You went from once to twice.

PHOEBE: (Sighs with exasperation) Okay! Maybe more than twice. I mean, you try living with a big sister who seems to criticize nearly everyday of your childhood and not become resentful!

LINNBAKKER: Ah! The truth finally comes out.

PHOEBE: Look, I'm not saying that I hated Prue or anything like that. Don't get me wrong. I loved her very much.

LINNBAKKER: But?

PHOEBE: (Sighs) Well, it was a burden being reminded that I was the family screw-up. And in a way, I don't blame Prue for thinking that. I mean, I used to get into trouble a lot, in high school. I became a shoplifter. I ran away after Grams died. I fell in love with a powerful half-demon. I haven't done anything responsible, until recently. And I managed to screw that up. You know, Paige had warned me that it would be a big mistake to marry Cole. But I did it, anyway. (Laughs weakly) By all rights, I should still be the youngest sister in the family. No wonder I'm the weakest of the Charmed Ones.

LINNBAKKER: (Frowns) Phoebe, everyone ignored Paige about Cole. And where did you get that ridiculous idea, anyway?

PHOEBE: C'mon! Everyone knows I don't have an active power.

LINNBAKKER: Pardon me, but what the hell do you call levitation? It's a power that requires a great deal of action. And you use it most effectively when fighting.

PHOEBE: Yeah, but it's not as strong as Piper's powers. Or even Paige's telekinesis.

LINNBAKKER: First of all, active powers are not automatically stronger than passive powers. You don't have to inflict physical harm to be powerful. Two, maybe your levitation isn't as strong as Paige's telekinesis, but your premonitions are. I never could understand why the Source didn't bother to steal that power from you.

PHOEBE: He said so, himself. My powers are weak.

LINNBAKKER: This, coming from a daemon who relied upon the Oracle and the Seer. No wonder he was an idiot. (Sighs) Phoebe, your premonitions are a lot stronger than you think. In fact, premonitions can be very powerful. But you've never bothered to develop it. Except maybe once or twice. Remember how powerful the Seer's premonitions were?

PHOEBE: Yeah, but . . .

LINNBAKKER: And having premonitions require a strong, mental discipline. You certainly have that in droves or your premonitions would have driven you to a mental breakdown, a long time ago. You're a lot more strong-willed than you think.

PHOEBE: (Murmurs) Yeah, right. (Looks away)

LINNBAKKER: (Sighs) You really have a problem with low self-esteem, do you? Maybe the reason you had resented Prue for so long is that deep down, you felt that you didn't need a second or third mother. Perhaps you needed a sister. And a friend, instead.

(Phoebe sighs and focuses her eyes upon the various paintings in the office.)

LINNBAKKER: (Stares) You're still going through with that divorce, aren't you?

PHOEBE: (Glances at the doctor) Yeah. For once in my life, I need to be happy. Like I said, Cole and I tried to be together, but it didn't work.

LINNBAKKER: Exactly how did you try? By insisting that Cole refrain from using his powers? By keeping that power-stripping potion in the house? Did you really think that your relationship would work with him as a human? It seems that your idea of working at a relationship is not accepting him, as he is. Or was meant to be. A half-daemon.

PHOEBE: (Angrily) Well, maybe because a relationship between a half-daemon and a witch won't work!

LINNBAKKER: It did work, Phoebe! During the period between Prue's death and the end of Belthazor, it worked. Just think about it. If Cole had not lost his powers, the Source would have never had the opportunity to possess him. And all of you could have been spared a lot of pain.

PHOEBE: Well, I went through that pain, anyway! No one asked Cole to use that damn Hollow! A nd besides, I can't deal with it, anymore. Maybe I still Cole . . . I don't know. But I need to be free and get on with my life. I need to be happy, for once. And being married to a half-demon who once tried to kill me and my sisters can't help me. He's hurt me long enough. (Sighs)

LINNBAKKER: (Shakes her head) Okay, Phoebe. I realize that I cannot stop you. Who knows? You might even enjoy a little relief for a while. But I promise you (pauses) in the end, you'll probably become that embittered old woman, after all.

(Phoebe stares at Dr. Linnbakker.)


END OF CASE #71247