Wednesday, July 30, 2008

"The Helmsman's Log - 2372 [PG-13] - Part II


I am continuing with the saga of Lieutenant Tom Paris' personal experiences with the Voyager crew, in the Delta Quadrant. This covers Season 2 episodes from "Initiation" to "Basics, Part 1".

Part 2

STARDATE 49406.28 - Oh shit! What the hell has Tuvok got me into? And why in the hell did I agree to get involve in his crazy plan? Okay, I know why. There's a spy aboard Voyager. Someone aboard ship may be in contact with Seska and the Kazon. And the Captain and Tuvok have asked me to help me flush out this spy. The plan calls for acting like a malcontent - being late for duty, submitting incomplete reports, tweaking regulations. And all this would mean coming into conflict with the ship's First Officer. Namely Chakotay.

A part of me does not really want to take that step backward. I don't want to be that man who had first boarded Voyager just over a year ago. But if it means flushing out that spy . . . Gods! I only hope that a lot of people will forgive me when this is over. End personal log.

STARDATE 49415.19 - Operation . . . hell, I don't know. Bad Boy? Well anyway, it has commenced. The operation to flush out the spy.

I began with a little something that was bound to get me into trouble - an illegal gambling operation. Unfortunately, the plan called for using Harry. Allow him to win a game of pool to bolster his ego. Then challenge him and a few others with another game of chance - namely, predict the daily radiogenic particle count at the price of one replicator credit per bet. And I would get to keep a small percentage of the proceeds for operating the game. This ought to grab Chakotay's attention and get me into trouble. End personal log.

STARDATE 49417.21 - Murder aboard Voyager. This morning, B'Elanna told Harry and me that she had found Crewman Frank Darwin inside an ESP conduit - apparently murdered. Tuvok has already found the culprit. Namely, Lon Suder. I'm not really surprised. I didn't know Suder that well in the Maquis. That's because one glance at those creepy peepers of his had encouraged me to stay away. Can you blame me? There seemed to be a violent and bloodthirsty aura about him. And to think he had killed Darwin, because he didn't like the way the other man looked at him. I'm glad that he never caught me staring.

B'Elanna seemed really shaken over the whole thing. She complained that Tuvok made a big thing over Chakotay's failure to inform him and Janeway about Suder's character. I replied that I didn't blame Tuvok. If everyone knew about my "criminal" past, why should Suder be exempt? B'Elanna, loyal as always, didn't respond well to my remark.

Tonight, the radiogenic sweepstakes will resume. I wonder who will win the pot. My guess is no one. End personal log.

STARDATE 49420.49 - It's finally happened. The first steps of the operation to flush out Seska's spy ended when Chakotay found out about the sweepstakes and shut it down. And it only took him two days. He tried to give me the old "I thought-you-could-do-better" speech, but I shot him down with a nasty comment. I have to be honest. I really enjoyed getting Chakotay's goat like that. It's as if this whole mission has given me carte blanche to express my true feelings.

What I don't like is earning the other crewmen's antipathy. Especially Harry's. He is my closest friend on this ship. And ever since being captured by the Vidiians, the crew has slowly begun to accept me. I only hope the spy will make him or herself known before I can piss off anyone else.

As for the brains behind this operation - I haven't seen Tuvok lately. Instead, I've been reporting to Captain Janeway. According to B'Elanna, who heard from Ayala, Tuvok had mind melded with Suder to learn the latter's motives for killing Darwin. I wonder what had happened that led Tuvok to disappear like that? End personal log.

STARDATE 49458.08 - The operation to flush out Seska's spy continues. At Tuvok's request, I was late for the senior staff meeting, regarding the latest crisis, looking disheveled. The problem is that I wish I hadn't - considering what was being discussed.

Voyager had encountered . . . would you believe this? We had encountered a Cardassian missile here in the Delta Quadrant. And it arrived in the same manner as we did - via the Caretaker's array. What made this situation even more bizarre is that the Maquis had captured the missile and reprogrammed it to strike a Cardassian target - namely a fuel depot in a sector far from here. The missile apparently believed it was still in the Alpha Quadrant, and that an M-class planet called Ralorka IV was the Cardassian fuel depot.

B'Elanna confessed that it was she who had reprogrammed Dreadnought - the Maquis' name for it - without Chakotay's permission. Apparently, the Big Guy, in that "damn soft voice of his" made his disappointment known after he found out. Typical Chakotay. But I didn't say so to B'Elanna. Our conversation eventually switched to my recent "discipline" problems. She had heard about my recent altercations with Lieutenant Rollins, regarding my navigational reports. What could I say? That I'm pretending to be a pain-in-the-ass, so that Tuvok can flush out a spy? Instead, I lied and told her that Rollins had over-exaggerated the situation. You know, I almost chucked Tuvok's crazy little scheme after that conversation. I don't know. Manipulating Harry was bad enough. But for some reason, I really felt like a heel after lying to B'Elanna. End personal log.

STARDATE 49459.81 - She did it. B'Elanna stopped the Dreadnought missile from striking Ralorka IV. And not a minute too soon. At first, we all thought she had deactivated the missile - until I noticed that it had resumed its course to the planet. Hearing its voice - B'Elanna's voice - over the Comm system nearly gave me the creeps. It sounded so unemotional. So unlike B'Elanna.

After we lost contact with B'Elanna during her second trip to Dreadnought's interior, the Captain decided to evacuate Voyager and detonate it in front of the missile to divert it from Ralorka IV. I wanted to stay behind and help, but she insisted that Harry and me follow Chakotay and the others to the escape pods. Only Tuvok remained behind. Fortunately, B'Elanna destroyed the missile and we all returned to the ship. It just hit me. If Voyager had been destroyed, I would have been left with the messy task of informing Chakotay about the mission to find the spy. And considering our recent hostilities, I would have found myself in a sticky situation. End personal log.

STARDATE 49499.09 - It's been over a month since I began this mission to trap the spy and I'm getting nowhere. I haven't been approached or anything. So, the deception continues. Once again, I was late in reporting for duty on the Bridge. I must say that I came up with some pretty lame excuses - like helping Sam Wildman give birth. Unsurprisingly, no one bought them. And naturally, Chakotay raised a fuss. The only other action that occurred was an encounter with a Vidiian ship. It didn't turn out that big of a threat. We only found one lifesign aboard - a female who was seriously ill. Talk about a dull and frustrating day. End personal log.

STARDATE 49501.45 - Chakotay and I had a fight in the Mess Hall. A spat, really. And for once, it wasn't my doing. Okay, maybe it was my fault, since I was the one who became hostile. But I have to admit that Chakotay presented me with the perfect opportunity in his attempt to play the Good Samaritan. He wanted to talk about my recent problems. Maybe help me. You know, I almost laughed in his face. But I didn't. Instead, I sneered at his concern for me and accused him of never taking my contributions to the ship, seriously. I even brought up my suggestion of investigating a nebula. Actually, I knew it was a dumb idea that Chakotay would surely dismiss. And give me the opportunity to express my hostility.

Poor Chakotay. I really feel sorry for him when he learns about this deception. Don't get me wrong. I don't like the guy, but the shit is really going to hit the fan when he realizes that the Captain and Tuvok had decided not to include him in this little scheme. I finally asked Tuvok why he didn't want Chakotay to know. He replied that he suspected a former Maquis of being the spy and he wanted to spare our first officer of any personal conflicts, considering the latter's tendency to jump to the Maquis' defense whenever one of them encounter any discipline. Seemed plausible. Somewhat. Okay, it was pure bullshit. I may be wrong, but I have the oddest feeling that spite and dislike played a part in Tuvok's decision. As our indomitable security chief has stated repeatedly, Vulcans have emotions. They only suppress them. Yeah, right. This decision to keep Chakotay in the dark is a sure sign of emotional suppression. End personal log.

STARDATE 49503.51 - The Doc is in love! Who would have believed it? Well, I already knew that he harbored some feelings for Kes. I just never thought he would fall or someone else. Namely, our Vidiian visitor. I've only met her briefly, inside Sandrine's, last night. When the Doc told me about her reactions to his overture, I realized that my original estimation of Denara Pel had been right. She was shy. Even B'Elanna, who had every reason to hate the Vidiians, developed a sympathetic regard for her.

After the Doc's failure with Denara, he asked me for advice. Me, Tom Paris. Of all people! I guess he doesn't know about my rapidly declining reputation. Anyway, I told him about my old Academy girlfriend, Susie Crabtree, and how she dumped me at the end of our first year. After word of Caldik Prime got around, I guess she finally realized that she had been right to dump me. Anyway, I agreed to help the Doc win Denara Pel back. And I just came up with an idea. End personal log.

LOG SUPPLEMENTAL - Just paid a visit to Tuvok's office. He informed me that it was time to take our deception a notch upward. A step that should either bring me in contact with the spy or Seska. I have to create some kind of physical altercation with Chakotay that will get me in the Brig. Oh great! This should look good on my record. Sigh! I hate to say it, but Tuvok is right. So far, the Big Man has barely reacted to my insubordination. I'm beginning to suspect that he's a stick of wood in disguise. Maybe what Tuvok has in mind will finally do it. Push the situation beyond control. And the sooner I end this charade, the better. End personal log.

STARDATE 49509.03 - Well, it finally worked. Tuvok's plan. I reported on the Bridge yesterday morning, late as usual. Chakotay coolly informed me that he has found someone else to replace me at the Helm. Namely Baytart. I know this was supposed to be an act, but for some reason, I felt a surge of anger. I really wanted to hit the bastard. Instead, I insisted upon reporting for duty and that was when Chakotay gave me the opportunity. He touched me on the arm, but I purposely over-reacted and shoved him. I have to be honest. It felt good. The pleasure disappeared when the Captain ordered Tuvok to escort me to the Brig. For a brief moment, I felt a sense of déjà vu. It brought back the time when Starfleet captured me after three weeks with the Maquis. The feeling ended when Tuvok led me to his office. He assured me that this little stint to the Brig will not appear on my record.

After twenty-four hours in the Brig, I was released. No one had come by to visit me. Not even Harry. I guess I don't blame them. That reminds me, I have to find out how the Doc's date with Denara Pel went. End personal log.

STARDATE 49520.59 - This will be my last log entry, until my return to the ship. That is, if I ever return. Since my little spell in the Brig, I have become persona non gratis aboard Voyager. Only the Doc, Harry, Kes and Neelix seemed willing to talk with me. The Captain and Tuvok decided it was best to take the deception to the next level. Leave Voyager and offer myself as bait to Seska. Tuvok contacted a Talaxian freighter that was looking for a new pilot. He figured that once the crew learn about my departure, the spy would contact Seska. I only hope that . . . (door chimes) Enter! Got a visitor. End personal log.

STARDATE 49526.06 - I am so glad to be back! And to be honest, I really didn't think I would make it. Especially after Seska caught me using the ship's computer. But it was too late. At least for her. I managed to discover the spy's identity before she could stop me. It was Mike Jonas. Now that I think about it, I'm not really surprised. There was always something about him that I didn't trust. Even back in the Maquis. Too quiet and too sneaky. And I also remembered that he and Seska used to be quite chummy back in those days. Well, he's dead, poor Mike. I don't think anyone will mourn him.

Now that I've succeeded in my mission, I've become very popular aboard ship. Both Neelix and me. I think that little spot on the "Breakfast With Neelix" show must have done the trick. Personally, I found it embarrassing, but Neelix insisted that he interview me. I don't know why. He was just as responsible for stopping Jonas and Seska from luring Voyager into a trap. And he was the one who had killed Jonas.

Most of the Maquis are pretty upset over the revelation. Especially Hogan. I haven't seen such embarrassment since Seska had been revealed as a Cardassian spy. I think the embarrassement was worse for Chakotay. Not only was he the one who had originally recruited Jonas, but he also found out about Tuvok and the Captain's scheme. I don't know if he has forgiven those two for making a chump out of him, but judging from the silent treatment I have received since my return, he hasn't forgiven me. I guess things are back to normal. End personal log.

STARDATE 49537.58 - The Doc's lady love, Denara Pel, left Voyager today. We delivered her to a Vidiian colony without being detected by her people. The Doc seemed upset, but resigned. It seemed that the little matchmaking scheme Kes and I had devised, worked. Good. At least he had a nice romance.

Chakotay has begun talking to me again. Somewhat. At least when the topic of ship's business come up. But it's worse with B'Elanna. She hasn't given me the silent treatment, like Chakotay. Nor has she been hostile. But she seemed bent upon making sure that we're never alone, together. And during off duty hours, she usually sticks to Harry like glue. Or remain in her cabin - alone. I'm beginning to suspect that once again, our friendship is in serious trouble. End personal log.

STARDATE 49547.7 - Gods! This has been one bizarre day! Harry . . . and I mean by Harry Number 2 . . . Hell, I better start from the beginning!

It all started during Alpha shift. Sam Wildman went into labor, while we all anxiously awaited news of Voyager's first baby. It wasn't long before I spotted Vidiian ships on the sensors. Voyager eventually hid inside a plasma cloud to avoid detection. Once the ship left the nebula, all hell broke loose. The warp engine stalled, the antimatter supplies began to drain and proton burst caused a hull breach. We had no idea where the proton bursts came from, since B'Elanna had not begun to start our own bursts to stave off the antimatter drain. Then our situation became worse. The Doctor reported that Sam's baby had died, due to the ship's power drain. And . . . shit! It's all in the past and I'm still shaking. B'Elanna . . . B'Elanna reported from Deck 15 that Kes had disappeared into a mysterious void. (Pauses) And that Harry had died after being sucked into space. (Pauses) That news really floored me. I mean, Harry was gone. Permanently. But I didn't have time to digest that at the time. None of us did. Before we knew it, another hull breach occurred on Deck 1 and we had to abandon the Bridge.

What happened? A divergence field had caused sensor reading to double and every particle on the ship to duplicate. Two Voyagers eventually formed and there wasn't enough antimatter to sustain both vessels. We also discovered that the proton bursts that were damaging our ship, came from the second one. The Captain Janeway from the other ship visited our and explained everything. I don't know what plan the two captains had come up with. To be honest, we didn't have time for an explaination. The Vidiians had returned and began firing upon our ships. I mean, the other Voyager. Captain Janeway #2, in an effort to prevent the Vidiians from a successful organ harvest and detecting our ship, initiated the self-destruct button. Both the second Voyager and the Vidiian ship were destroyed.

Before the two ships were destroyed, the second Captain had sent over her Harry Kim and baby Wildman to our ship. In the end, Sam Wildman ended up with her baby after all. And we got Harry back. Sort of. Hell, I don't know. This is all crazy. Harry #2 - I guess I should just call him Harry - had repeated the Captain's words that weird was all part of the job of being a Starfleet officer. If you ask me, I could do without it. End personal log.

STARDATE 49556.69 - We held a christening for Sam Wildman's new baby. The good ensign named her Naomi. Very pretty. Neelix has been named godfather. During the whole, ungodly mess two days ago, he had comforted Sam while she dealt with the loss of the first baby.

Ever since our encounter with the plasma cloud, B'Elanna has grown even closer to Harry. I guess I don't blame her. Even if there are times when I feel that I'm being shut out. Witnessing the death of a friend can be very traumatic. I know from past experience. Which leads me to something else. Namely the odd looks I've been receiving from Harry. I wonder what he had witnessed. My counterpoint's death at the hands of the Vidiians? End personal log.

STARDATE 49583.99 - That's it! I've had enough! I asked Sue Nicoletti for a date and again, she gave me the brush off. I don't know what to believe. That she won't go on one simple date with me, or that I've been pursuing her for six months. I told Harry that my nickname for her is "Cold Hands, Cold Heart Nicoletti". Great! I've been pursuing an iceberg. I can't think of any other woman aboard this ship that I'm deeply interested in. Well, there was Kes, but I've recently discovered that I'm no longer in love with her. She's a warm and sweet woman. Like a sister. And I'm not really interested in incest. End personal log.

STARDATE 49608.69 - Dick Bennet is dead. He and two other crewmen were killed in a shuttlecraft crash, during a geological survey mission on the moon of Drayan II. Only Tuvok survived. Both McCormack and Margot Gallagher are devastated. Especially Margot. I went to her cabin to offer my condolences, but I don't think she was in the mood to receive visitors. I hope she doesn't do anything drastic. End personal log.

STARDATE 49654.99 - I used to think what I did on Caldik Prime was the worst I could image. Maybe it was. But what happened to Tuvix makes me wonder. I still remember standing on the Bridge, with him begging us to help him, while Security dragged him away. What could I do? Order the guards to let him go? Free him myself? The Captain would have won in the end, and we got Tuvok and Neelix back. So I just stood there like a goddamn coward. I am so disgusted. Not only with myself, but with the rest of the crew. The only person who didn't seem upset over the whole matter was Kes. She got Neelix back. I wonder if her experience with the Ocampans had really changed her. The Captain is wearing one of those "I did the right thing" expressions. Well, no one will condemn her. Hell, none of us can. We're just as guilty for standing by while she killed Tuvix. End personal log.

STARDATE 49659.92 - While investigating this planet in the Nyras system, the Captain and Chakotay were bitten by an insect that infected them with a deadly disease. In order to keep them alive, the Doc had them put in statis. At least until he can find a cure. This has left Tuvok has assumed command of the ship and me, as acting first officer. Great! End personal log.

STARDATE 49744.67 - It's over. The Doctor was unable to find a cure for the Captain and Chakotay's disease. He had no choice but to return them to the planet's surface, where they had been infected. The planet's atmosphere helps keep the disease benign. So, we beamed them surface, along with equipment and supplies for a habitation.

Tuvok broke the news to the rest of the senior staff, during a meeting. He also added that the Captain had ordered the crew to continue on to the Alpha Quadrant. That meant Tuvok and I would permanently become the two senior officers. Oh God! This is the last thing I wanted - being Tuvok's XO. I can only assume that serving directly under Chakotay would be worse. As for Tuvok - he seemed so damn cold about leaving the Captain and Chakotay behind. What is it with him? Doesn't he have any feelings? (Sighs) Of course not. He's a Vulcan. And a Vulcan is the last person in the universe who should be in command of a ship. End personal log.

STARDATE 49704.69 - I never realized, until today, what an idiot I've been. And a bigot. It took Ayala, of all people, to remind me.

It all started with Harry, who has been continuously bitching about Tuvok since we left the Captain and Chakotay behind. All of us were in the Mess Hall, brooding over our present situation and new captain. To be honest, Tuvok hasn't been much of a problem. But we were all still pissed by his cold attitude about leaving our officers behind. I thought that Ayala would understand how we felt, considering he used to be one of Chakotay's right hand men. Surprise, surprise! Instead, he reminded us that we were not giving Tuvok a chance to prove himself as a captain and leader. He reminded B'Elanna and other Maquis about how Chakotay had to grow as a leader of a Maquis cell. And he reminded the Starfleeters that Janeway had to do the same aboard Voyager. Ayala also added that Vulcan starship captains were nothing new in Starfleet. He had a point. He castigated us for not giving Tuvok a chance to grow into the new role as commander of a starship with a crew dominated by Humans.

I don't think Ayala's speech had much affect on the others. With the exception of a handful from the Security Division, Kes, Gerron, and our resident Vulcans, everyone else continued to brood over our new captain. I guess I can now consider myself part of the former. Mike was right. We should give Tuvok a chance. Hell, I got one. Why not him? I guess I've always prided myself on being tolerant. Mike made me realize that I had forgotten the Vulcan security officer who had not automatically considered me guilty of murder, last year. God, I feel like shit! End personal log.

STARDATE 49808 - Trouble on the Bridge, today. Harry had detected a Vidiian ship some several light years away. Tuvok acknowledged the new with usual stoic manner and ordered us to continue our course. Then Harry made a mistake. He insisted that we contact the Vidiians to seek a cure for the Captain and Chakotay's disease. Even worse, he tried to rally support from the other crewmen on the Bridge. Between Tuvok's threats of a trip to the Brig and my warning, Harry finally backed down.

What the hell was the matter with him? I realize that he missed the Captain. Hell, so do I. But what he did was stupid. Especially for a man with ambitions for a stellar career in Starfleet. End personal log.

STARDATE 49810.13 - He did it again. Once more, Harry tried to convince Tuvok to contact the Vidiians. He had approached Tuvok in the latter's quarters, early this morning. Harry had apologized for his earlier behavior on the Bridge. He even added that the Doc was willing to contact Dr. Denara Pel and that B'Elanna was willing to donate a sample of her Klingon DNA. Now that took me by surprise! And disturbed me, too.

In the end, Tuvok rejected Harry's request, reminding him of the destruction of that Vidiian ship, some three months back. And once again, Harry lost his temper. (Sighs) You know, maybe we should contact the Vidiians - if that would keep Harry from starting a large-scale mutiny. And with the Vidiians close by, a mutiny is the last thing we need. If that happens, who would save us? Tuvok is the only one aboard this ship with the tactical knowledge to deal with the Vidiians. And he can't do that, while in the Brig. End personal log.

STARDATE 49813.52 - In the end, Kes managed to convince Tuvok to contact the Vidiians. I'm relieved, but at the same time, I feel like a failure. As acting First Officer, I should have been the one to talk to him. It was my job. Just as it was my job to inform Tuvok about the crew's morale, without resorting to Harry's temper tantrums. Instead, I kept silent. Some XO I turned out to be. End personal log.

STARDATE 49818.7 - It worked. We got the cure from the Vidiians, thanks to Dr. Pel's generosity. And without Tuvok, we would have never escaped. Looking back on it, he was right to doubt the Vidiians' help. If it had not been for his tactics and Dr. Pel's help, we would have never succeeded. Now, we're on our way back to the Captain and Tuvok. End personal log.

STARDATE 49853.36 - It's been almost two weeks since our encounter with the Vidiians. I feel as if I'm on another ship. Voyager is on its way back to retrieve the Captain and Chakotay and the crew is happy. I know that Harry is happy. He has returned to acting like the ideal Starfleet officer he had been before this whole incident. But his little act isn't fooling either Tuvok or me. I didn't think Vulcans could deliberately act cold toward a particular person, but I've noticed that Tuvok has been giving Harry the cold shoulder. I tried to point this out to Harry, but the big idiot replied that Tuvok had promised not to inform the Captain about his little insurrection. Maybe, but I wouldn't be surprised if she found out what happened, anyway. And Harry will live to regret it. End personal log.

STARDATE 49933.57 - It's been a day since the Captain and Chakotay's return to Voyager. I wish I could say that everything is back to normal. But I would be lying. Despite their gratitude, our two senior officers did not seem happy to be back. I would give a month's worth of replicator rations to learn what happened during those three months on that planet. I pointed out the Captain and Chakotay's subdued manner to B'Elanna and Harry. The former seemed disturbed, while Harry dismissed the whole idea. I'm beginning to wonder about Harry. In some ways, I think he has become even greener since leaving the Alpha Quadrant. Or maybe he just doesn't react well to change. And that's not a good trait for a Starfleet officer. End personal log.

STARDATE 49947.25 - Had lunch in the Mess Hall with Harry and B'Elanna. It turned out to be a disaster. Harry complained about Tuvok giving him a hard time on the Bridge, while the Captain and Chakotay were going over reports in the Ready Room, this morning. I told him what did he expect, after the trouble he gave Tuvok. I also added that he was lucky that Tuvok never reported him for insubordination.

Okay, maybe I should have kept my mouth shut, but all the tension from the past six months had finally got to me. And Harry's whining was irritating the hell out of me. He left the Mess Hall in a huff. B'Elanna demanded that I apologize. Why should I? Someone had to make Harry realize the consequences of his actions. He doesn't realize that he may have screwed up his Starfleet career for good. Limited as it is, here in the Delta Quadrant. I said this to B'Elanna and she gave me one of her death glares before leaving the Mess Hall. Shit! I really should keep my mouth shut. End personal log.

STARDATE 49950.6 - I had apologized to Harry for my remarks in the Mess Hall and he has forgiven me. We're friends, again. I can't say the same about B'Elanna. She continues to give me the cold shoulder. Not once, during dinner, did she utter one word to me. I'm beginning to suspect that her attitude has more to do with the deception I had carried out to flush out Seska's spy, than about Harry. At first, I felt frustrated by her attitude. Now, I'm pissed. I'm getting tired of worrying about what she thinks of me. It seems as if she can't make up her mind. If she wants to be friends again, fine. If not, I guess I can live without her good opinion. I've done it before. End personal log.

STARDATE 49985.91 - Voyager came across a message buoy. From Seska. It seemed she finally had her baby. Or should I say, Chakotay's baby? And Maje Cullah seemed upset by the identity of the baby's father. Judging from the expression on Chakotay's face, I have a feeling that won't be going after the child. Which suits me just fine. If you ask me, this whole thing sounds like a trap. End personal log.

STARDATE 49987.73 - Chakotay and the Captain have decided to go after Seska's baby, after all. Oh God! This would mean heading for the Kazon-Nistrim stronghold in the Gema system. I had suggested we contact the Talaxian mining colony on Prema II for extra help. Even the Doc had a suggestion - use the ship's deflector grid as holoemitters in order to project images of nearby Talaxian ships. Not a bad idea, even though it's a deception that probably won't last. I did consider suggesting that we call this whole thing off, but I don't think anyone will listen. End personal log.

STARDATE 49996.36 - Voyager encountered a Kazon shuttle with an injured man inside. I recognized him immediately. One of Seska's aides - Tierna. Chakotay also recognized him. Personally, I think we should space Tierna out of the nearest airlock. I can't help but feel that we're being set up. I've heard that Chakotay has his own suspicions regarding our visitor. But as Harry has continuously pointed out, we are a Federation ship. And that means giving aid to those who needs it, regardless of our suspicions. Is it any wonder I never wanted to be a Starfleet officer in the first place? If the Captain is determined to give aid to Tierna, I hope she has considered contacting the Talaxians on Prema II. End personal log.

STARDATE 49999.98 - Tierna has regained consciousness. He claimed that Maje Cullah had killed Seska, after learning that Chakotay was the baby's father. As for the baby - it will be sent to Gema IV, the seat of Kazon-Nistrim power, to be raised as a servant. What's the point of repeating myself? This mission doesn't feel right. Besides, I really can't see Voyager infiltrating the Kazon-Nistrim stronghold.

Although today is New Year's Eve, no one is in the mood for a party. A few of us had gathered at Sandrine's for a little celebration. But the party mood died out before 2373 arrived and everyone left. Very dismal. End personal log.


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