“THE HELMSMAN'S LOGS – 2374
SUMMARY: The fourth in a collection of Tom Paris' personal logs during Voyager's journey in the Delta Quadrant.
DISCLAIMER: Tom Paris and all other characters related to Star Trek
Voyager belong to Paramount, Viacom, Rick Berman, the Roddenberry
family and other Trek producers.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This covers episodes from "The Gift" to post-"Hope and Fear".
"THE HELMSMAN'S LOGS - 2374"
(Sighs) The year is now 2374. (Pauses) For once, I'm not feeling hung over after a party. I guess that none of us really had the urge to drink. Not while we were busy looking over our shoulders for the pursuing Borg or Species 8472. So far, we're still looking.
As for the party, it did not last long after the New Year had arrived. I don't mind. At least it wasn't as dismal as last year's celebration. But I must admit that talking about the Borg and Voyager's newest addition to the crew did not enliven my mood. B'Elanna had spent most of the evening discussing the Borg addition to the ship's technology. And getting into a state of anxiety over our new crewman. Many want the Borg off the ship. Frankly, I don't see the point, since she has been disconnected from the Collective. B'Elanna thinks I'm being naïve. In other words, our little disagreement over our new crew member had almost left me in a foul mood. Great! We have our first fight since the Nyrian habitat and it happens to be over a complete stranger.
Both Chakotay and the Captain had appeared at the party. They remained long enough to usher in the New Year. Since both were still anxious about the Borg, they did not remain very long and left. Separately. Hmm, I guess they haven't completely reconciled, yet. I have this odd feeling that the Borg may have damaged their relationship for good. End personal log.
It's been three days since our encounter with the Borg and Species 8472. Ship repairs have resumed with a vengeance. Everyone is still talking about our new passenger. Again, B'Elanna did not fail to express her opinion that the Captain should get rid of the ex-drone. This time, I kept my mouth shut. Who knows? She may be right. B'Elanna did tell us one bit of information. The Borg's name is Seven-of-Nine. Her human name - that's right, she's a human - is Annika. Hmmm, very pretty. End personal log.
I can't believe it. It's been five hours since she was forced to leave the ship and I still can't believe that she's gone. Kes, I mean. (Pauses) I guess I'm still having trouble comprehending the whole incident. B'Elanna believes that Kes had transformed into a powerful spirit. Well, Kes became powerful, all right. Not long after she left Voyager, she had transformed into a non-corporeal being and sent the ship some 9.5 light years closer to the Alpha Quadrant. That means in less than three years, Voyager has traveled in 12.5 light years - with 57.5 years left in our journey.
Kes had also saved us from the Borg. Our new passenger, Seven-of-Nine, tried to contact the nearest Borg cube by accessing the ship's subspace transmitter. Kes managed to telepathetically stop her in time. But not before our favorite drone gave Harry one hell of a whack.
(Sighs) Even as I now talk, I still cannot believe that Kes is gone. And to think, I had a crush on her for nearly a year. Still, she was a great friend and I'm going to miss her. I think we all will - especially the Doc, Tuvok . . . and Neelix, of course. (Pauses) Good-bye Kes. I'm going to miss you. End personal log.
Baytart, Jenkins and I were in Cargo Bay Two, searching for navigational parts, when we caught sight of our super cargo. The other two kept their distance, while lucky me had to get close to collect the parts. She was standing in her new Borg regeneration chamber, when her eyes opened and began to follow me. Creepy. But she remained silent. I bid her a quiet good-bye and left with the other two. Not much communication was achieved, but I can safely state that Second Contact between Seven-of-Nine and me proved to be a hell of a lot less painful than our first. End personal log.
B'Elanna and I were having lunch in the Mess Hall today, discussing cultural holidays. When I asked about Klingon holidays, she brought up something called Day of Honor. Apparently, it is an observance day in which Klingon warriors test their honor by enduring some kind of ritual hazing. Hmmm, sounds interesting. I had asked her when was the last time she had observed the Day of Honor and she almost laughed in my face. It seems that B'Elanna has not observed this special day since she had turned seventeen. B'Elanna doesn't realize it, but she has given me an idea for a new holoprogram. I only hope that I can talk her into participating in it. End personal log.
Voyager has finally learned of Chakotay's whereabouts - at least Tuvok has. He found Chakotay, brainwashed by the Vori and engaged in their war against the Kradin. Poor Chakotay. He's had it pretty bad since his near assimilation by those ex-Borgs, nearly five months ago. He and the Captain are still divided over Seven-of-Nine. And now this. I may not like him very much, but I cannot help but feel sorry for him. B'Elanna sees this as a sign that I am finally growing up. I ought to teach her a lesson about making such comments. End personal log.
The subject of the Day of Honor came up, again. To my surprise, it was B'Elanna who first mentioned it. Apparently, she has been thinking about her mother, lately. Eight years have passed since she had last seen Miral Torres. B'Elanna must miss her very much, which seems strange. I have never known B'Elanna to mention her mother without making some kind of complaint.
When I told her about my idea for a Day of Honor holoprogram, she decided that she wanted to help me. Great! I'm really looking forward to this. Especially if it means spending a great deal of time with B'Elanna. End personal log.
B'Elanna and I have finally completed the Day of Honor program. And just in time. Tomorrow will be her official day to commemorate. Ah! Can't wait to see how it will turn out. End personal log.
God! (Pauses) For the first time in ages, I can barely think. I'm speechless. (Pauses) And it's not the tri-ox treatment I had received. Oh God! (Sighs) I can't believe . . . Shit! I don't know who really had to endure a Day of Honor - B'Elanna or me. I guess we both did, in our own ways.
B'Elanna's Day of Honor had begun three days ago. One, the holoprogram turned out to be a bust. Not because it had not been created properly. It all went wrong, because B'Elanna was not in the mood to enjoy it. To put it simply, she was having one of "those" days. She woke up late. Didn't have time for breakfast. Nearly everything in Engineering began to malfunction. Worst of all, Seven-of-Nine finally reported for duty and her first assignment happened to be Engineering. It didn’t take long for B'Elanna to confront Seven about previous victims of the Borg. And when Seven failed to display the proper remorse, B'Elanna kicked her out of Engineering.
Yep, that's right. I had heard what happened. Let's just say that gossip and rumors tend to spread pretty fast on this ship. I love B'Elanna very much, but she does have this tendency to be a bit too judgmental about people - even without getting to know them. Hell, I had personally experienced this trait first hand, during Voyager's first year in the Delta Quadrant. And this is why when I ran into our ex-Borg on Deck Seven, I offered her my friendship. Why not? Everyone deserves a second chance.
B'Elanna wasn't the only one who didn't take for Seven's presence aboard Voyager. We had encountered a race of aliens called the Caatati. I guess one could call them the beggars of the Delta Quadrant. They had asked the Captain for food, medical supplies and thorium - namely a lot. Due to our situation, the Captain was only able to allow them so much. That would have been the end of it, except our Caatati visitor had spotted Seven with me and nearly went into a fit. His race had nearly been devastated by the Borg.
I wish I could say "thus ended a difficult day", but I can't. It only grew worse. Engineering's experiment with creating a transwarp wormhole led to the warp core being dumped. The Captain ordered us to use the Cochrane shuttle to fetch it, only the Caatati managed to get it first. B'Elanna tried to break their tractor beam. Instead, they sent an antimatter pulse to block our efforts. Not only did they succeed, they also caused the destruction of the Cochrane, leaving B'Elanna and myself wearing AVS suits and stranded in space.
(Sighs) Until the day I die, I do not think I will ever forget those moments drifting in space. That and Sakari IV. After B'Elanna and I found ourselves drifting in space, an ionic shower damaged my AVS suit's supply of oxygen and I ended up sharing B'Elanna's supply. But the ionic shower had also damaged her suit, leaving a half hour of oxygen between the two of us. We flirted a bit. Okay, I flirted with B'Elanna. We talked about the Academy and then it got serious - all because I wanted to know if her feelings toward me had changed over the years. Not only did B'Elanna answered yes, she also revealed a lot more. She told me (Pauses) . . . she confessed to being in love with me.
(Laughs bitterly) Strange. I had no trouble admitting that I was in love with B'Elanna some eight months ago . . . to myself. But when she demanded that I say something after her confession, I responded with a joke, instead. (Sighs) How lame! I wanted to admit that I was in love with her, but I was too floored by her confession. Also, Voyager had chosen that moment to contact us. It's odd. One minute, I'm floating in space, stunned by B'Elanna's confession and everything goes black. The next thing I knew, I'm waking up in Sick Bay, with the Doc's face hovering over mine. B'Elanna had already returned to her quarters. I wanted to pay her a visit before returning to my quarters, but I lost my nerve. I don't know. I'm thrilled that B'Elanna might possibly love me. But how can she be in love with a guy who lacked the courage to express his own feelings? Even worse, how long will that love last when she finally becomes acquainted with the real Tom Paris? End personal log.
The Captain made a little announcement during the Senior Staff meeting, today. She has promoted Tuvok to Lieutenant Commander. A celebration dinner will be held in his honor, tomorrow. Considering how long Tuvok has been in Starfleet, I'm surprised that he has not reached the rank of Captain or Admiral, by now. Still, I'm happy for him.
After seeing her at the staff meeting, I ran into B'Elanna outside the Mess Hall, later this evening. She took one look at me and fled down the corridor. Frankly, I don't blame her. She had admitted her feelings to me . . . and I made a joke. I wouldn't be surprised if she never wants to lay eyes upon me, again. End personal log.
I really don't know how to begin. It's been quite a day. Tuvok is now a lieutenant-commander. I'm the Doctor's new medical assistant. And B'Elanna and I . . . well, we had spoken with each other for the first time in three days.
It happened right after Tuvok's promotion luncheon. I followed her out of the Mess Hall. Asked her if she really meant what she had said about being in love with me. I don't know why I had asked. I guess that a part of me wanted to know if I had heard right. That B'Elanna's confession had not been a figment of my imagination, caused by a lack of oxygen. But it wasn't. B'Elanna confirmed my . . . my what? My fears? My hopes? Maybe a little of both.
After B'Elanna had admitted her love for me . . . for the second time . . . she rambled on about how she understood if I didn't reciprocate her feelings. Well, I had to shut her up one way or the other. If she had continued any longer, she would have convinced herself that I didn't love her. So, I kissed her. Thoroughly, I hoped. I must say that her lips were as soft and warm as I had remembered from Sakari IV. And I would have kissed her even longer, if the Doctor had not interrupted us. Not that the Doc's interruption really mattered. Even though I didn't actually say, "I love you," I think that B'Elanna got the message on how I really felt about her. Hopefully, this means that my hope for a relationship will finally become a reality. End personal log.
Just finished my first day as the Doc's medical assistant. Since he has been on an Away mission with B'Elanna, I was left in charge of Sick Bay.
Nothing much happened. I treated an indigested stomach and a lacerated hand. The last belonged to Seven-of-Nine, who had been assigned to work with Harry on design enhancements for the Astrometrics Lab. While treating her hand, I made a few jokes to put her at ease. Seven didn't seem to mind them, but Harry practically went ballistic. Hmmmm, I haven't seen Ensign Eager this emotional since he fell for that hologram, last year. Or was it Lyndsay Ballard? I don't remember. Anyway, I tried to warn him that Seven wasn't emotionally ready for a relationship. But knowing Harry, I'm sure that he didn't listen. Oh well. At least he didn't go running to Tuvok for advice. End personal log.
(Sighs) B'Elanna had returned with Doc from their Away mission, a few hours ago. They had an encounter with a psychotic hologram, who tried to kill B'Elanna by ripping her heart out. God! She managed to destroy him before he could damage her heart permanently. Also, she and the Doc returned to Voyager just in time for him to perform surgery. So, B'Elanna left the Sick Bay with a clean bill of health . . . and just in time for our first date, tonight. Our first real date.
(Pauses and listens to B'Elanna mumble in her sleep) I must admit that I had felt very nervous when I showed up at her quarters. We had a nice dinner - replicated Ktarian soufflé, a pasta salad and a nice 2294 Merlot. Mind you (pauses as B'Elanna mumbles again) the meal as nice, but all I could think about was that cute little maroon dress she wore. And taking it off.
Okay, so I sound like some kind of sex fiend. But B'Elanna . . . God! She looked so beautiful and irresistible! (Sighs) We were a bit shy at first, but the moment our lips met . . . oh God, I'm beginning to sound like a bad romance holonovel. Let's just say that I forgot about any shyness on my part. For a moment, I had feared I was being just a little too enthusiastic. But B'Elanna brushed away such fears when she began ripping off my clothes. (Sighs happily) This might be a personal log, but I'm sure that someone will end up listening to this some day in the future. So, I'll just say that a Klingon woman's reputation for sexual prowess is very well deserved; and sleeping with B'Elanna was more than great sex. It was . . . okay, I think I'm about to sound like a cliché. Sleeping with B'Elanna was like a meeting between two souls; and I never want to be . . .
(B'Elanna mumbles a little louder, "Tom?")
B'Elanna! I'll be with in a . . . Hey! B'Elanna! That tickles! B'Elanna!
(B'Elanna: "Hey Helmboy! Aren't you going to finish that log or what?")
Right. And last but not least, I never want to be apart from her again. Ever.
(B'Elanna: "Hmmm, how romantic. Now why don't you show me what never being apart means?")
Be careful of what you wish for, Lieuten . . . Oooof! End personal log.
I wonder if Starfleet Academy ever considered giving courses on diplomatic encounters gone awry, thanks to former Borg drones. (Sighs) Our encounter with the B'omar was certainly one for the books. We had come across their space and needed their permission to avoid a long detour. To be honest, the B'omar didn't help matters by imposing all of those travel restrictions upon us. Travel at Warp 3? Keep our weapons off-line? And that ridiculous course they had suggested!
Of course, Seven's actions didn't help. Some Borg signal had reactivated her nanoprobes, causing her to go amok. She attacked Neelix in the Mess Hal, stole a phaser, attacked several Security crewmen and stole one of the shuttles. Damaging the Shuttle Bay, in the process. After Seven's escape, the B'omar wanted nothing to do with us. Matters grew worse after Tuvok and I went after her in another shuttle and tracked her to a Class-M moon - the very place where her parents' ship had crashed, before they were all assimilated by the Borg.
Voyager exchanged fire with a few B'omar ships, while I tried to beam Seven and Tuvok to the shuttle. But not before Tuvok helped Seven deal with her memories of being assimilated. Let's just say that the entire incident resulted in Voyager making a long detour around B'omar space. End personal log.
Don't get me wrong. I love B'Elanna with ever fiber of my being, but there are times when she simply drives me crazy. And I'm not being complimentary. It's been three days since the incident with Seven and the B'omar and B'Elanna has not stopped bitching about it. Okay, I understand why she's pissed for having to oversee the repairs in the Shuttle Bay. But God! I've had to listen to B'Elanna bitch and moan for hours over Seven's actions and the Captain's refusal to dump our favorite Borg on the nearest M-class planet. Both Harry and I tried to make B'Elanna see that Seven had been reliving a childhood trauma. But she has refused to listen. This morning had been the last straw.
After one last rant about the Captain's "obsession with the Borg", I lost my temper and told her that her complaints were becoming a bore and that she should give them a rest. I must say that I was damn lucky to avoid a public beating at the hands of a pissed off half-Klingon. Instead, B'Elanna gave me a death glare that rivaled the Captain's' and stormed out of the Mess Hall. I've tried to apologize since, but she refuses to speak to me. (Sighs) I think a little trip to the Airpondics Bay is in order. End personal log.
Ah! There's nothing in the Universe like fine food, wine and make-up sex. All due to a dozen of red roses from the Airpondics Bay. A fellow could get used to this. End personal log.
Strange energy readings were detected by Harry this morning, and now Voyager is on its way to investigate. It is a good thing that we are about three days away. This should give the Captain plenty of time to recover from the headaches that have been plaguing her, lately. If I were her, I would spend those three days in my quarters. She practically looks like death warmed over. Doc has tried relieving her headaches with various medications, but nothing seems to help. Oh well.
Meanwhile, B'Elanna and I have been . . . well, a little more than enthusiastic during our off-duty hours, lately. Actually, we've been pretty active during duty hours, as well. Neelix and Pablo Baytart nearly caught us having sex in the Mess Hall, early this morning. I don't know what's going on, but every time I find myself near B'Elanna, I have this urge to rip her clothes off and take her right there on the spot. (Pauses) Okay, I'm really starting to sound like some kind of sex fiend. But I can't help it. Every time we're apart, all I can think about is her. Her sable eyes, that sexy growl of hers, her pert breasts, and the way her nails would rake up and down my back when we're . . . (Sighs) Great! Now, I'm in dire need of a cold shower. End personal log.
Thanks to a double shift I had been forced to work, I missed out on a date with B'Elanna. Damn! I don't even know what is worse - canceling the date with B'Elanna or dealing with this sexual obsession of mine. (Sighs) Since I can't do anything about the former, I might as well see to the latter. There hasn't been much activity in Sick Bay, lately. Maybe I can find a way to spend some time with her. That is, if the Doc can spare me for one lousy shift. End personal log.
B'Elanna and I had just spent an embarrassing moment with the Captain, today. Just before dinner, last night, Tuvok had caught us . . . uh, kissing on one of the computer consoles in Engineering. The snitch! He must have high-tailed it back to the Captain, for she really chewed us out, after the Senior Staff meeting. Whew! Guess we'll have to a little more discreet from now on. Meanwhile, poor Neelix had some kind of attack in the Galley and had to be beamed to Sick Bay. Chakotay is already there, due to some kind of rapid ageing he has experienced. What the hell is going on, here?
One last thing - the strange energy readings that Harry had detected, turned out to be binary pulsars. End personal log.
For the past two weeks, a race of aliens have been using Voyager as a traveling laboratory for a series of experiments. These aliens - whose name we still don't know - had attached their ships to ours and subjected the crew to a series of medical tests. They did all of this, while walking about the ship . . . invisible. Tests that monitored our dopamine levels - which explained the Captain's headaches - to sexual hormone levels. Now I know why B'Elanna and I have been at each other like dogs in heat. Those bastards also stopped the auoeli in B'Elanna's lungs from processing air and nearly killed her. This happened after she and the Doc nearly discovered what was going on. In the end, it was Seven who finally revealed the aliens. Needless to say, the Captain did not take the news very well. Especially after Crewman Huberman died from a synaptic shock. I wish I had been on the Bridge when she steered the ship toward the binary pulsars. According to Harry, the pulsars' gravity managed to destroy both alien ships - although one nearly escaped. Although Voyager had escaped destruction, the pulsars had damaged both navigational control and some of the ship's hull plating. The Doctor and I have begun removing the DNA markings given to us by the aliens. Everything should return to normal. Somewhat. There is still the matter of Crewman Huberman. End personal log.
A memorial service for Huberman was held this morning. A dark moment for an otherwise normal day. At least normal for us. The aliens' DNA markings have been completely removed from the entire crew. B'Elanna, I'm happy to say, has fully recovered. We decided to celebrate with a private dinner in my quarters. I thought that a pasta salad with Ktarian Merlot would be nice. She should be here in another . . . (the doorbell chimes) Oh, she's here. End personal log.
With the new Astrometrics Lab completed, the Captain has permitted the crew to celebrate with a party. Which means that I've got at least a half hour to shower, change into clean clothes and pick up B'Elanna. The party will be held in the Resort holoprogram in Holodeck One. Neelix will provide the refreshments, as usual. (Sighs) Oh well, not everything can be perfect.
Voyager also entered Krenim space, this morning. A Krenim starship captain warned us that his race was involved in a border dispute with another. He warned us to avoid Krenim space. Happily, the Captain agreed and ordered me to plot a new course for the Alpha Quadrant. End personal log.
Our encounter in Krenim space had led me to thinking about Kes. It has been three months, since she left Voyager. I could not help but think about the alternate timeline she had experienced before our encounter with the Borg and Species 8472. A timeline that had us at war with the Krenim for at least a year. The Year of Hell. According to Kes, a good number of the crew had been killed - including two senior staff members, whose names Kes had never revealed. I'm almost tempted to access her personal logs, but that would be a shabby way to honor Kes' memory. I guess the details of her experiences in the alternate timeline will remain a mystery. Too bad. End personal log.
Voyager came across a new planet called the Mari homeworld. The Mari are a race of telepaths who are technically advanced - at least by Starfleet standards. This means that we don't have to worry about the almighty Prime Directive. Since the Captain has been able to establish diplomatic ties, she ordered me to establish orbit around the planet. And the crew will be able to enjoy shore leave for the next few days. Hopefully, B'Elanna and I will get to enjoy a few hours of sightseeing, together. End personal log.
I can't believe it! B'Elanna has been arrested by the Mari authorities for having violent thoughts! Violent thoughts? What the hell is this? They've got to be kidding! Then again, I guess not. It seems the Mari people have outlawed violent thoughts, believing the latter can lead to violent acts. While in the marketplace of the Mari capital city, B'Elanna had violent thoughts when some man had bumped into her. This led the man to beat another Mari citizen to death in full view of everyone. If found guilty, B'Elanna will have to undergo an engramatic purge.
Great! My girlfriend is in danger of being lobotomized! I asked the Captain if she plans to rescue B'Elanna. Unfortunately, she reminded me that according to Starfleet protocol, we have to respect Mari laws. The Captain also added that she and Tuvok will investigate and ensure that B'Elanna is exonerated. Sounds lovely, but what if they can't exonerate her? She would still have to undergo the purge. The Doc told me that hopefully, he would be able to reconstruct her engrams. This is supposed to reassure me?
I can't believe that the Captain is willing to allow B'Elanna to undergo such a thing. I mean, if she was willing to rescue Harry and me from the Atkirian prison, why not do the same for B'Elanna? (Sighs) This is fucked up beyond belief! And to think I had purchased a gift for her. Now, I don't know if B'Elanna will ever get the chance to enjoy it. I wonder if Chakotay would consider planning a jailbreak. End personal log.
B'Elanna is back, I'm happy to say. Thank God for Tuvok! He found out that a Mari merchant had deliberately provoked B'Elanna into a violent thought, in order to steal it telepathetically and sell it on the black market. Very sick, in my opinion. So much for Mari non-violence. The Mari had managed to erase one-tenth of B'Elanna's violent engrams, before Tuvok and the Captain presented them with the real perpetrator.
B'Elanna told me that Tuvok finally appreciates the struggle she had endured with her violent Klingon psyche. Geez! I like Tuvok, but did he really had to associate her temper with her Klingon side? Now, B'Elanna is more determined than ever to control her thoughts. (Sighs) I told her that she should worry more about her actions than her thoughts. I also reminded her that Klingons weren't the only species that had to struggle with violent impulses. But I got the feeling that she didn't believe me. Damn! Hopefully, she will. One day. End personal log.
Is it me or has Neelix been acting odd, lately? He must have been more upset over that Mari woman's death than I had first imagined. In fact, he has seemed a little out of sync, ever since Kes' departure. I had hoped that his friendship with Talli on the Mari homeworld would improve his mood. Unfortunately, Talli was killed and Neelix's dark mood returned. Maybe this upcoming Away mission with Chakotay and me will help. End personal log.
Christ! I can't believe it! Neelix is gone! Dead! And all because of a simple mission to investigate a proto matter nebula. The shuttle got a little too close to the nebula, and Neelix was hit by an energy discharge. I just can't . . . I never realized how difficult it would be for me to deal with his death. It's funny. I'm closer to B'Elanna and Harry, but Neelix was the only person on this ship who understood what it meant to live with a questionable past. And to whom else can I talk with, about flying? Hell, I found it easier to talk with Neelix than the other pilots in my division. If only I hadn't flown that damn shuttle so close! End personal log.
I thought that being resurrected by Seven's modified nanoprobes and celebrating Prixin would put Neelix in a good mood. Apparently, it didn't. He tried . . . to commit suicide by transporting himself into that nebula. God! I wonder what Chakotay had said to convince him not to kill himself.
Speaking of Chakotay, he has assigned B'Elanna to the Gamma shift for the next two weeks. Son-of-a-bitch! This means, we'll barely have time together. If I didn't know better, I'd swear that Chakotay had deliberately planned this to keep us apart. (Sighs) But I do know him better. He may not have been thrilled about our new relationship, but he's not petty. But if one must suffer in the name of love . . . End personal log.
I wish to God that Seven had never detected that damn array system. Now that I think about it, I wish the Captain had never ordered the Astrometrics Lab to be remodeled in the first place. But since we did stumble across the array system, Seven was able to detect that Starfleet vessel in the Alpha Quadrant. Probably some Galaxy-class ship on a deep space mission.
At first, the Captain tried to send a message to the ship, using the array. When that failed, B'Elanna came up with the brilliant idea of sending a holographic message. Namely the Doctor. And guess who will be left to act as Acting Chief Medical Officer? (Sighs) Chief Medical Officer. Dammit! I'm a pilot, not a medic! Why in the hell didn't the Doctor train someone from the Science Division to train as his assistant? Someone like Sam Wildman? What if the Doc never return from the Alpha Quadrant? What if his program gets lost in the signal between us and Starfleet?
I have to do something about this. (Pauses) Hmmm, since B'Elanna is still monitoring the array, perhaps Harry can help. I may know a lot about holoprogramming, but when it comes to creating a program as complex as the EMH, I'm going to need an engineer. End personal log.