The Five Worst BOND ACTRESSES

Below is a list of five actresses - professional or otherwise - who have appeared in James Bond movies throughout the franchise's 46-year history. I consider these five women to be the worst actresses that have ever appeared in a Bond movie. So, without further ado, I present . . .


The Five Worst BOND ACTRESSES



1. Marguerite LeWars (or the actress who dubbed her voice) aka "the Photographer" (Dr. No, 1962) - This former Miss Jamaica made her acting debut . . . and finale as a photographer in the employ of the movie's villain, Dr. No, hired to spy on secret agent James Bond.  To be frank, I had recently discovered that producers Albert Broccoli and Harry Saltzman had hired another actress to dub Ms. LeWars' voice. The reason why this unknown actress tops my list as the worst Bond actress is due to her stiff and unconvincing handling of the following line: "You . . . you rats!".  I still wince just thinking about it. As for Ms. LeWars, you have my apology for believing that you were the voice behind "the Photographer".






2. Lana Wood aka "Plenty O'Toole" (Diamonds Are Forever, 1971) - Judging by her brief performance as a Las Vegas hustler who gets caught up in a diamond smuggling operation financed by SPECTRE, one can see that Natalie Wood's acting talent had not been extended to her younger sister, namely Lana. She barely made Number 2 on my list, which goes to show how little I thought of her acting.






3. Corinne Clery aka "Corinne Dufour" (Moonraker, 1979) - This actress, who portrayed Sir Hugo Drax's assistant and personal pilot seemed to be very popular with many Bond fans. I can only assume they were impressed by her physical attributes, because her acting skills left much to be desired. The only real emotion she managed to express was fear, while being chased by a pair of hunting dogs on Drax's California estate.






4. Mie Hama aka "Kissy Suzuki" (You Only Live Twice, 1967) - I wish I could say that the movie version of the Kissy Suzuki was interesting . . . but I am afraid that I cannot. I am surprised that Ms. Hama actually had film experience before she was cast as the Japanese Secret Service agent, who marries Bond in a fake wedding ceremony. She really struck me as uninspiring actress with barely any screen presence. I cannot help but feel that in the movie, the wrong Bond Girl - namely Akiko Wakabayashi as doomed agent Aki - was killed off.






5. Talisa Soto aka "Lupe Lamora" (License to Kill, 1989) - I must admit that I have a deep fondness for Ms. Soto's portrayal of the mistress of a Central American drug lord. She has a strong screen presence and there were moments when her performance seemed quite natural. The problem is that these moments were rare. Which is why Ms. Soto made this list. Of all the bad actresses who have appeared in a Bond film, she was my favorite.

"DR. NO" (1962) Review

"DR. NO" (1962) Review

This 1962 movie marked the cinematic debut of EON Production's James Bond franchise, created by Cubby Broccoli and Harry Saltzman. Sean Connery also made his debut in this film as the MI-6 agent, James Bond. Although many critics and fans consider film as one of the more impressive in the franchise, I honestly cannot say that I share their opinion.

Based on Ian Fleming's 1958 novel, "DR. NO" begins with the murder of MI-6 agent Strangeways and his secretary by a trio of assassins in Jamaica. Fellow MI-6 agent James Bond is ordered by his superior, "M", to investigate the agent’s death and eventually stumbles upon a plot by Dr. Julius No, an agent of the criminal organization SPECTRE, to disrupt the U.S. space program for the Chinese Republic. 

As I had stated earlier, I have never considered "DR. NO" as one of the more impressive entries of the Bond franchise. In fact, it is one of my least favorite Bond movies of all time. The main problem I had with "DR. NO" was the schizophrenic script written by Richard Maibaum, Johanna Harwood, and Berkely Mather that featured an unbalanced mixture of genres. I suppose they had no choice. After all, they simply wrote a close adaptation of Fleming's novel. And Fleming never struck me as the world's greatest novelist. The story began as a mystery thriller, as Bond tried to figure out who was behind Strangeways' death. Unfortunately, the movie transformed into a fantasy-style adventure when Bond and one of his CIA contacts, Quarrel made their way to Dr. No's Crab Key Island in order to disrupt the villain's plot. A part of me wish that Young and the screenwriters had made changes in Fleming's story. 

The stilted dialogue peppered throughout the movie only made matters even worse for me. The worst line came out of the mouth of former beauty pageant winner, Marguerite LeWars, who portrayed a photographer working for SPECTRE. It is so bad that I will not even repeat it. Even Connery was guilty of spewing some wooden dialogue. In fact, his performance seemed as uneven as the movie’s story and production style. In many scenes, he seemed to be the epitome of the smooth British agent. And in other scenes – especially with Jack Lord, who was the first actor to portray CIA agent Felix Leiter – he came off as gauche and wooden. Mr. Lord, on the other hand, gave a consistently polished and performance as the sardonic Agent Leiter. Much has been made of Ursula Andress’ performance as "Bond Girl No.1" Honey Ryder – especially her famous first appearance when her character emerges upon a beach. Frankly, I have never been able to sense the magic of that moment. I hate to say this, but I did I find Andress' presence in the movie particularly impressive. Not only was her character irrelevant to the story, she did not really aid Bond’s attempts to defeat Dr. No. 

I first became a fan of Joseph Wiseman ever since I noticed his sly and subtle performance as a 1960s gangster in the Michael Mann TV series, "CRIME STORY". But I was not that impressed by his Dr. Julius No, a character that simply bored me to tears. I might as well say the same about Anthony Dawson’s performance as SPECTRE agent, Professor Dent. Many fans have been waxing lyrical over a scene featuring his death at Bond's hand. Personally, I found Bond's actions unprofessional. The MI-6 could have easily drugged the SPECTRE agent, remove any inconvenient cyanide pills and have the authorities "question" him. Instead, Bond killed him in cold blood . . . and lost any chance to get more information from Dent. Moron. "DR. NO" can boast first-class performances by American-born John Kitzmiller as the exuberant Jamaican CIA contact, Quarrel. And Zena Marshall gave a solid, yet subtle performance as Professor Dent’s Eurasian secretary and SPECTRE agent, Miss Taro. It is only too bad that the producers and Terence Young could not find genuine Eurasians for both the Dr. No and Miss Taro roles. But I guess that would not have been possible in 1962.

"DR. NO" featured some beautiful photography of Jamaica from cinematographer Ted Moore. Monty Norman not only provided a first-rate musical score, he also delivered the original "James Bond" theme. However, some of the movie's flaws – namely the uneven script and direction by Terence Young, along with the wooden dialogue, makes "DR. NO"vastly overrated in my eyes. But what can I expect from a movie that consistently threatens to put me to sleep two-thirds into the story?